Coach and the City Girl
Are you there, God? It’s me, Mari!
So I just wanted to ask you, God:
If you had no intention of making me filthy rich in this lifetime, why did you give me champagne tastes?
In yesterday’s snail mail, I received a coupon from Coach. I almost burst into tears at the sight of it! I recognized the familiar, good stock paper envelope with its delicate pink line all around in a nice square and my name printed up on it in pretty font as soon as I saw it. It was luring me to their full-price stores, between now and June15, so I can save 25% off my purchase. It was the second such coupon in less than a week! As you know, I don’t know math, but 25% x 2 = HALF OFF! (Insert bells, whistles and rattles of joy here). How cruel can they be?
It’s always the same guy signing off on my Coach coupons, too. His name is Michael Tucci, customer relation’s director. In a casual script font, it’s signed ”Mike”, like I know him or something!
Does he know my weakness? Does he know that faced with a discount, sale, bargain or coupon of any kind I am behooved to make a purchase? Woe is me in my small home with ne’er enough storage space to house all of my Coach purchases! I mean it’s not like I can stop buying them at this point, right? Right? Agree with me, please.
If I am being completely honest, Coach is just the tip of my consumer iceberg. I am every retailer’s dream come true! My amusement park is the nearest mall or outlet. I am what drives America’s economy. I am shopper! Hear me roar!
I have a dangerous habit. I have an innate ability to want for the most expensive items, even before I know they are expensive. Case in point: Given a chance to enter an ordinary store with a variety of items priced low to high, I will instinctively and unknowingly gravitate to the pricier items every single time. That's why I admit to having champagne tastes with beer money!!
I swear I don’t do this on purpose. Actually, this reaction is very much out of my hands. If I am touching, smelling, or even standing near a bag, shoes, cosmetics, a blouse, skirt, jeans or anything related to house and home that is absolutely gorgeous and unfortunately expensive, I begin to salivate. I really do! I admit it. I am a brand whore. I have BUY-dar. (I also have GAY-dar, but that’s a whole other story!) When I am in the midst of a shopping spree, it is like all my sensory capabilities are on high alert or overdrive. Don’t get me wrong, I love a bargain or clearance sale any day of the week, but I won’t hesitate to drop a bundle on something if I really, really can’t leave the store without it. That is why it is a dangerous habit. I could dangerously get in to financial trouble this way! Collective sigh, please!
So you can only imagine what it takes for me to get through a day, working in downtown Manhattan, where I am surrounded by well-known retail stores such as Juicy Couture, White House/Black Market, Kenneth Cole, ESPRIT, Bebe, H&M, TJ Maxx, Zara, Pier 1, Victoria’s Secret, Liz Claiborne, Banana Republic, J. Crew, Ann Taylor, (Phew!) GAP, Eddie Bauer, Express, a string of cute and exclusive boutiques and, yes, the almighty Coach store. Be still my heart!
It is a bloody miracle I can get through my days and actually show up at work, instead of just lingering in the stores all day like I want to do! I used bloody here because it fit, not because I am trying to be all Madonna-like faking a British accent.
Recently, I stopped stalking the Coach store. I ceased pressing my nose longingly on their storefront windows because I am concerned that one of the snooty girls who work there, looking all mannequin like on a regular basis, will end up calling the cops on my ass. Now I pass by the store casually and stare, like I don’t care one way or the other. I don’t think they will appreciate it if I go in each day at lunch just to molest the merchandise and leave empty-handed. People are funny like that.
The thought has occurred to me that God is actually grooming me for greatness. That explains why He made me be attracted to beautiful things that I cannot currently afford on my meager existence. So I remain hopeful and focused on the bigger picture – the bigger dollar sign picture. Or is it the bigger Euro sign, being that the dollar is in the crapper as of late?
In the meantime, I will pimp out Joe for the right Coach bag! Of course I will only do so under duress and if faced with absolutely no other choice in the matter. Him being so cute and all, it won’t be hard to find a lonely salesgirl to give up a great bag in order to bag him for an hour! Ha ha! Sorry, honey!
Seriously, though, I think my situation could be called a condition. I am conditioned to want for the stuff I can’t always afford. There, I’ve said it! I can’t afford all the stuff I want (yet). But the beauty of it is that despite my current state of affairs, I remain ever hopeful and I continue to aspire to greater things!
It is a good trait to have, believe me. To aspire is to strive to be better. How can that be a bad thing, right?
I know people who are so content (not that there is anything wrong with that) with what little lot in life they have, that they never want for anything and thus never aspire to anything better than what they have right this second. I can’t understand that, nor can I ever be in that person’s shoes. I live with the constant itch to do better, have better, live better and enjoy better things and places and situations. In addition to my itch, it’s my anxiousness. Whatever I want, I want it now, now, now. I think a part of that is that I regard time with great respect. The time I have on earth, the time I have good health, the time I am enjoying right this second. Time. It is all we really have at the end of the day.
Well, time to browse some online shopping sites!
Happy Friday!
So I just wanted to ask you, God:
If you had no intention of making me filthy rich in this lifetime, why did you give me champagne tastes?
In yesterday’s snail mail, I received a coupon from Coach. I almost burst into tears at the sight of it! I recognized the familiar, good stock paper envelope with its delicate pink line all around in a nice square and my name printed up on it in pretty font as soon as I saw it. It was luring me to their full-price stores, between now and June15, so I can save 25% off my purchase. It was the second such coupon in less than a week! As you know, I don’t know math, but 25% x 2 = HALF OFF! (Insert bells, whistles and rattles of joy here). How cruel can they be?
It’s always the same guy signing off on my Coach coupons, too. His name is Michael Tucci, customer relation’s director. In a casual script font, it’s signed ”Mike”, like I know him or something!
Does he know my weakness? Does he know that faced with a discount, sale, bargain or coupon of any kind I am behooved to make a purchase? Woe is me in my small home with ne’er enough storage space to house all of my Coach purchases! I mean it’s not like I can stop buying them at this point, right? Right? Agree with me, please.
If I am being completely honest, Coach is just the tip of my consumer iceberg. I am every retailer’s dream come true! My amusement park is the nearest mall or outlet. I am what drives America’s economy. I am shopper! Hear me roar!
I have a dangerous habit. I have an innate ability to want for the most expensive items, even before I know they are expensive. Case in point: Given a chance to enter an ordinary store with a variety of items priced low to high, I will instinctively and unknowingly gravitate to the pricier items every single time. That's why I admit to having champagne tastes with beer money!!
I swear I don’t do this on purpose. Actually, this reaction is very much out of my hands. If I am touching, smelling, or even standing near a bag, shoes, cosmetics, a blouse, skirt, jeans or anything related to house and home that is absolutely gorgeous and unfortunately expensive, I begin to salivate. I really do! I admit it. I am a brand whore. I have BUY-dar. (I also have GAY-dar, but that’s a whole other story!) When I am in the midst of a shopping spree, it is like all my sensory capabilities are on high alert or overdrive. Don’t get me wrong, I love a bargain or clearance sale any day of the week, but I won’t hesitate to drop a bundle on something if I really, really can’t leave the store without it. That is why it is a dangerous habit. I could dangerously get in to financial trouble this way! Collective sigh, please!
So you can only imagine what it takes for me to get through a day, working in downtown Manhattan, where I am surrounded by well-known retail stores such as Juicy Couture, White House/Black Market, Kenneth Cole, ESPRIT, Bebe, H&M, TJ Maxx, Zara, Pier 1, Victoria’s Secret, Liz Claiborne, Banana Republic, J. Crew, Ann Taylor, (Phew!) GAP, Eddie Bauer, Express, a string of cute and exclusive boutiques and, yes, the almighty Coach store. Be still my heart!
It is a bloody miracle I can get through my days and actually show up at work, instead of just lingering in the stores all day like I want to do! I used bloody here because it fit, not because I am trying to be all Madonna-like faking a British accent.
Recently, I stopped stalking the Coach store. I ceased pressing my nose longingly on their storefront windows because I am concerned that one of the snooty girls who work there, looking all mannequin like on a regular basis, will end up calling the cops on my ass. Now I pass by the store casually and stare, like I don’t care one way or the other. I don’t think they will appreciate it if I go in each day at lunch just to molest the merchandise and leave empty-handed. People are funny like that.
The thought has occurred to me that God is actually grooming me for greatness. That explains why He made me be attracted to beautiful things that I cannot currently afford on my meager existence. So I remain hopeful and focused on the bigger picture – the bigger dollar sign picture. Or is it the bigger Euro sign, being that the dollar is in the crapper as of late?
In the meantime, I will pimp out Joe for the right Coach bag! Of course I will only do so under duress and if faced with absolutely no other choice in the matter. Him being so cute and all, it won’t be hard to find a lonely salesgirl to give up a great bag in order to bag him for an hour! Ha ha! Sorry, honey!
Seriously, though, I think my situation could be called a condition. I am conditioned to want for the stuff I can’t always afford. There, I’ve said it! I can’t afford all the stuff I want (yet). But the beauty of it is that despite my current state of affairs, I remain ever hopeful and I continue to aspire to greater things!
It is a good trait to have, believe me. To aspire is to strive to be better. How can that be a bad thing, right?
I know people who are so content (not that there is anything wrong with that) with what little lot in life they have, that they never want for anything and thus never aspire to anything better than what they have right this second. I can’t understand that, nor can I ever be in that person’s shoes. I live with the constant itch to do better, have better, live better and enjoy better things and places and situations. In addition to my itch, it’s my anxiousness. Whatever I want, I want it now, now, now. I think a part of that is that I regard time with great respect. The time I have on earth, the time I have good health, the time I am enjoying right this second. Time. It is all we really have at the end of the day.
Well, time to browse some online shopping sites!
Happy Friday!
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