Spare Parts

I remember when MTV was in its infancy. I remember when new videos were these magical snippets of music-turned-moving-action. I remember when Michael Jackson’s videos were these unreal productions of epic proportions and we were all in awe of his showmanship. I remember everyone trying to secretly learn the Moonwalk, even though no one admitted it. I remember when Michael got this monkey and this “date” with Webster ’s Emanuel Lewis and shit just got weird for him. I remember when Madonna got ripped a new one for rolling around on the stage of the first Video Music Awards (VMAs) in her smutty wedding attire humping the air and reclaiming her lost virginity. I saw when ‘bitch’ reclaimed her throne 20 years later in the role of the husband of that smutty bride and proved her manhood by tonguing down both Cristina Aguilera and, more famously, Britney Spears. I remember when MTV actually was music television, you know, before all those brainless reality things started to breed...

It was like a great KRIS-mas morning on last night’s American Idol finale. The hundred million votes cast resulted in Kris Allen from Conway, Arkansas being crowned our 2009 American Idol winner. I guess sometimes your votes really do count. But let’s back track a little. Last evening’s 2-hour finale was a feast for the senses. Just when you thought they couldn’t pull another rabbit out of that top idol hat, the surprises kept coming. Playing, rocking, rapping, singing and dancing on the Idol stage, celebrity after music celebrity appeared. Apparently it was the place to be last night in Hollywood. Everyone from Rod Stewart, to Queen Latifah, to Fergie and the Black-eyed Peas, to Santana, to KISS, to Cyndi Lauper and current Idol David Cook all paid tribute to this television phenomenon by showing up and performing with the Top 13 candidates of the season. Even if they all couldn’t win the top prize, they really are all winners in the end. At 17, if she never does another thing in...

I am still reeling from last night's turbulent and tumultuous two-hour season finale of '24'. By the time the second hour was nearing its exhausting end, I was kneeling by the television, clutching my face, agonized with doubt that the show would be able to pull off the impossible in the remaining 4 minutes. It was just another incredible season. This is why I cannot DVR 24. I need the commercials to regain my composure and equilibrium in between scenes. I need a second to myself to catch my breath. Of course, I needn't have worried about the outcome of the season, as the stellar writers of '24' never disappoint. Clearly, they have perfected the art of suspense and resolution. At its end, I was so absurdly wired, I was staggering about the house wondering how in the name of all things holy I would be able to come down from the high and get some sleep. It was Ambien to the rescue! It kept me from staying up all night on pure adrenaline. The rush of one h...

Well, well...Tonight's American Idol episode sure did have it's ups and downs. It was like a roller coaster, only faster. (As an FYI...I am home resting for a couple of days. I hurt my back at work in the most bizarre way. Don't ask, I have no answers). So, we're down to three contestants as the finale of Idol is fast approaching. The so-called 'rocker' teen, Alison Iraheta, finally got her walking papers. True to herself to the last, she was oddly awkward in her good-byes, saluting her tribute montage with an Arsenio Hall arm pumping throwback. And although I personally believed it was long overdue, the chick with the crazy hair and attire borrowed from a friendly streetwalker, had sort of redeemed herself - belting out songs with such fierce passion, it was hard to ignore she had skills. Not surprisingly, the final three standing are of the male persuasion. Truth be told, this outcome - barring any sudden burst of likability by Alison - was a given early in...