Day 2...

Hmm. It's not even 8 a.m. and I am already sitting at my desk at work having arrived a whole 47 minutes early. I know what you're thinking: How does this display of eagerness to reach the office coincide with those bitter expressions of Corporate America from a mere 24 hours ago? Well, to be honest what I do and what I say don't always harmonize. However, the feelings from yesterday remain. The thing is that I just don't like to be late anywhere, or be unprofessional at any job. I'm a closeted goody-two-shoes. There, I've said it. Sue me.

Aside from sitting here in the pre-chaotic hours of the morning and in the deafing silence of the floor, I am sipping on that ever-present morning cup of joe. I have tried repeatedly to give up the crutch, but I am helpless and at its mercy. At least I am in good company, right? Famous last addict's words.

The truth is that coffee is the antidote to what I take before bed each night. Stories go that Mr. Elvis Presely himself had similar issues with his day and night inner clock. He was unable to differentiate between the two and thier importance and function in his life. Elvis needed "helpers" to both go to sleep at night and then stay awake during the day. And while I don't need the kind of "help" he did, I do treat myself to a bit of the "candy" whose name always precedes a PM tag to assist with my insomnia, thereby necessistating the jolt of joe in the a.m. to counteract the PM's effect. Oh sure, like most insomniacs, I've gone down that 'harder stuff' road, only to find the many 'bonus' and unwelcome side effects to be, well, unwelcome. I think it was that whole thing about driving all the way to work and then never remembering having left my house kind of freaked me out a bit.

In my defense, a small portion of my insomnia is generated by the many medications I have been on since the early 80s. Keep in mind that IN the early 80s I was a little girl. However, the medications were a necessary evil following the unfortunate diagnosis of Lupus in November 1981.

Now it is 2008 and Lupus kicked my ass. I am post dialysis; post FOUR kidney transplants and - much to my dismay - pre any children. And....STOP. I refuse to make this blog a downer! I may be many things, but not a Debbie Downer. I am more like a Mari Upper. Can I coin that? Should I OWN it?
Mari Upper - like an upper, but nontoxic!

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