Writer's Block
Although I have started many stories and novels over the last few years, I have not seen any of them to completion. This saddens me because when I start them, I feel like I am off and running with a million different great ideas, characters, twists and turns that my story could take. What happens after, though, has become an unfortunate and ongoing bad habit. Suddenly, I drift from the intended subject, character or detail and the story takes off on some other unplanned path and I become frustrated and disgruntled with it and end up abandoning it midway. Perfectionism is a bitch!
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a form of writer’s block. Some folks have writer’s block where they can’t even find their way to a piece of paper, let alone write a sentence on it. However, my writer’s block is not characterized by not having a clue or idea, but by not following through with these because I am unable to see the big picture come to fruition – a nicely printed, bound and shelved hardcover tome for sale at your local bookstore.
In dreams I have seen myself countless times, sitting at a cleverly covered folding table with stacks of my latest book to my left side and several good black Sharpie markers to my right side for autographing. An icy bottle of Evian water is placed there, too. It is next to a lovely champagne glass, should I become parched speaking with the fans. I see fans of my writing lined up and patiently waiting their turn to meet me. I feel myself fill with pride and humbleness that they read my book.I talk about my book and its charcters like I know them personally and they are old friends, because they are.
When I am not dreaming, I find that I spend entirely too much time thinking about the daunting task of getting all the way to a published book. I liken it to the stress of waiting for a first kiss, or, in my case, that elusive kidney. Inevitably, I think: Good Lord! Is this ever going to happen?
I know I shouldn’t do this, but I dwell incessantly on the realities of the publishing world, which I am only too familiar with at my job. I cringe when I think of the many uphill steps to be climbed in getting there. It’s pointless and I know it, but it’s like a nicotine fit – I must spend some time each day stressing the stress of getting published. Having to sift through project-starved editors who want to edit my work for publishing. Having to meet with a publisher to discuss “strategies” to getting my book out there. Having to listen to him or her praise me with one breath, then discuss rewrites in another. Having to hear the words: “Oh and we love your ideas, but we need you to cut out 2,500 words, mostly this part…and this one…oh, and that bit about that guy.” I see myself sitting there and thinking: “Um, I am really attached to that sentence, paragraph, or character.” But I have to realize that when I sign off my book to be published, it’s like giving up my newborn to its adoptive parents. It’s not mine anymore and I have little to no say in the matter. To me that is just plain scary!
When would-be authors call the office to ask how they can have their books published or put on our shelves, I am faced with the unenviable task of disregarding their pleading requests (because I am so busy, after all) and sending them off to the la-la land of the infamous hotline for authors.
If I am not mistaken, the hotline will aim to be a catchall for small-time authors hoping to get noticed amid the swarms of other authors who send in their treasured manuscripts with the same goal in mind. When they ask me if I have any idea about how long before someone actually calls them back on the matter, I am tempted to be honest and say: Good luck with that, buddy! It will be a cold day in…
Alas, I am told to be direct. Just say the usual: “We receive a high volume of manuscripts daily – can’t accommodate everyone – editing as best we can – finding a place for your style of writing – are in the process of reviewing - will be calling you soon.” Some of these are true, we do receive a high volume of ‘scripts daily and it is hard to keep ahead of the demand, but most are lies. No, we really are not in the process of reviewing your book. In fact, we haven’t a clue where it is right now. It must be in someone’s office. Maybe it is under some other books, beneath a stack of gift bags and cards, or with the café department, or maybe it is with the DVD guy, or maybe just outside the kitchen, or maybe…perhaps…it fell off John’s desk when he placed his empty Chinese take-out box on top and it got seeped in grease and soy sauce. Maybe it just fell into the trash. So sorry!
However, I can’t be that callous. I can’t help feeling a kind of kinship with these masters of word wizardry. They believe, with an honest heart, as sometimes I do, that they have written (or are in the process of writing) the next great American novel, the next New York Times Bestseller, the latest Oprah Book Club pick. But in reality, that is hardly ever the case.
Still, we move up and onward, armed with keyboards and ideas, ready to tackle another day - banging happily away at the computer - hoping against hope and dreaming against dream that from our very own fingertips will flow the next great big thing!
All I know for sure is that right now I am writing, despite my claimed writer’s block. Sadly, I am not writing my best-selling novel right now. Instead, I am writing my almost-daily blog entry. In doing so I am prolonging the inevitable – sooner or later, I will need to get right to it and write that damn book!
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a form of writer’s block. Some folks have writer’s block where they can’t even find their way to a piece of paper, let alone write a sentence on it. However, my writer’s block is not characterized by not having a clue or idea, but by not following through with these because I am unable to see the big picture come to fruition – a nicely printed, bound and shelved hardcover tome for sale at your local bookstore.
In dreams I have seen myself countless times, sitting at a cleverly covered folding table with stacks of my latest book to my left side and several good black Sharpie markers to my right side for autographing. An icy bottle of Evian water is placed there, too. It is next to a lovely champagne glass, should I become parched speaking with the fans. I see fans of my writing lined up and patiently waiting their turn to meet me. I feel myself fill with pride and humbleness that they read my book.I talk about my book and its charcters like I know them personally and they are old friends, because they are.
When I am not dreaming, I find that I spend entirely too much time thinking about the daunting task of getting all the way to a published book. I liken it to the stress of waiting for a first kiss, or, in my case, that elusive kidney. Inevitably, I think: Good Lord! Is this ever going to happen?
I know I shouldn’t do this, but I dwell incessantly on the realities of the publishing world, which I am only too familiar with at my job. I cringe when I think of the many uphill steps to be climbed in getting there. It’s pointless and I know it, but it’s like a nicotine fit – I must spend some time each day stressing the stress of getting published. Having to sift through project-starved editors who want to edit my work for publishing. Having to meet with a publisher to discuss “strategies” to getting my book out there. Having to listen to him or her praise me with one breath, then discuss rewrites in another. Having to hear the words: “Oh and we love your ideas, but we need you to cut out 2,500 words, mostly this part…and this one…oh, and that bit about that guy.” I see myself sitting there and thinking: “Um, I am really attached to that sentence, paragraph, or character.” But I have to realize that when I sign off my book to be published, it’s like giving up my newborn to its adoptive parents. It’s not mine anymore and I have little to no say in the matter. To me that is just plain scary!
When would-be authors call the office to ask how they can have their books published or put on our shelves, I am faced with the unenviable task of disregarding their pleading requests (because I am so busy, after all) and sending them off to the la-la land of the infamous hotline for authors.
If I am not mistaken, the hotline will aim to be a catchall for small-time authors hoping to get noticed amid the swarms of other authors who send in their treasured manuscripts with the same goal in mind. When they ask me if I have any idea about how long before someone actually calls them back on the matter, I am tempted to be honest and say: Good luck with that, buddy! It will be a cold day in…
Alas, I am told to be direct. Just say the usual: “We receive a high volume of manuscripts daily – can’t accommodate everyone – editing as best we can – finding a place for your style of writing – are in the process of reviewing - will be calling you soon.” Some of these are true, we do receive a high volume of ‘scripts daily and it is hard to keep ahead of the demand, but most are lies. No, we really are not in the process of reviewing your book. In fact, we haven’t a clue where it is right now. It must be in someone’s office. Maybe it is under some other books, beneath a stack of gift bags and cards, or with the café department, or maybe it is with the DVD guy, or maybe just outside the kitchen, or maybe…perhaps…it fell off John’s desk when he placed his empty Chinese take-out box on top and it got seeped in grease and soy sauce. Maybe it just fell into the trash. So sorry!
However, I can’t be that callous. I can’t help feeling a kind of kinship with these masters of word wizardry. They believe, with an honest heart, as sometimes I do, that they have written (or are in the process of writing) the next great American novel, the next New York Times Bestseller, the latest Oprah Book Club pick. But in reality, that is hardly ever the case.
Still, we move up and onward, armed with keyboards and ideas, ready to tackle another day - banging happily away at the computer - hoping against hope and dreaming against dream that from our very own fingertips will flow the next great big thing!
All I know for sure is that right now I am writing, despite my claimed writer’s block. Sadly, I am not writing my best-selling novel right now. Instead, I am writing my almost-daily blog entry. In doing so I am prolonging the inevitable – sooner or later, I will need to get right to it and write that damn book!
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